Sleepless Nights
by Trancy-Kirishima
Summary: After struggling to sleep due to nightmares, Mikasa asks Jean to stay with her until she falls asleep. Jean x Mikasa


Sleeplessness was not uncommon to those who had seen monsters of any sort in their past, and the cadets of the 104th trainee squad were not exempt from the insomnia that lingered in the minds of so many who had seen titans in the past. Many of the new Survey Corps recruits believed their sleep patterns would alter, change for the better with time, but for some, the thoughts and memories that roamed through their heads in the darkest hours were much too plentiful to ignore. And this was the reason Mikasa Ackerman walked the silent hallways of the barracks, accompanied only by the sound of her boots and the shadows the burning candles cast along the walls.

The girl had been plagued since the night her life had shifted, her parents had passed away, and the Jaeger family had taken her in. Her once joyous dreams had become darkened with blood, hatred, and regret. There wasn't a time since that day where she woke up without a chill, or sweat dripping from her forehead. It was the reason she refused to room with any other squad member, although deep down she would not have minded the company, for she hated to burden others with what she deemed as a childish issue. But the fitful nightmare she had arisen from half an hour earlier had left her too shaken to even stay in bed and try to fall back to sleep.

Hallway after hallway, they all looked the same. Spotless, empty, hollow. It was eeriy in a way, but it could also be very calming, depending on the perspective one took to see it. The minutes ticked by, the padded sounds of her shoes ringing throughout the corridors, and after a few moments another set echoed as well from behind.

Quick on her feet, Mikasa swung around, her arm darting for the face of whoever had come up behind her. The fist she had swung was caught by the strong grasp of Jean Kirstein, who casually released it, both their arms falling effortlessly to their sides.

"I heard someone walking, so I figured I'd check it out."

Mikasa paid little attention to the boy during the daylight hours, but the urge to be accompanied by someone else at this time was too great to simply let the boy wander back to his room. "It's just me."

"I see that."

The boy had always held what seemed like a cool demeanor, but at the same time Mikasa noticed the prominent softness of his nature much too often. It was an act he had decided to play, as did most of the cadets including herself, and thus, she never spoke of it.

"What are you doing awake at this hour anyways?"

The girl shrugged, the dark strands of her hair brushing her shoulders as she did so, "I couldn't sleep."

The boy had softened already, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. "Me either."

"I had a nightmare," the girl confessed, her fingers playing with the crimson scarf that wrapped around her neck.

"Nightmares?" He chuckled awkwardly, "You don't seem like someone who would suffer nightmares to me."

Mikasa pulled up her scarf, a habit she had always played on when she felt downgraded in any way. "What's that supposed to mean."

"It's not a bad thing, it's just. I don't know." The boy shook his head, "Anyways, what were these nightmares about?"

For a moment, Mikasa couldn't move. The memories of a bloodsoaked childhood, the screams of her parents, the blood the painted the walls of her house in only minutes, the look on Eren's face as he gasped for air right in front of her, all of it had crossed her mind.

"Mikasa?"

Her hand immediately reached for her scarf as she shook her head quickly. "Nothing. I don't want to talk about it."

Curious, but not daring to push the subject, Jean raised an eyebrow suspiciously, nodding with great uncertainty. "Uh huh. Well, if you're all fine and dandy, I'm going back to bed."

He turned to leave, but was quick to stall when the hand of the shaken girl latched onto his arm. "Wait."

"What for?"

Mikasa was known to be strong, one of the strongest at that, and what she was to do seemed out of character, even to herself. She stood, staring at her shoes like a child who had told a lie, speaking in a small voice she barely recognized as her own. "I was wondering if you could...would stay with me until I fall asleep."

"There's one problem with that, Ackerman," the boy looked around the empty hallway, "Where are you planning on sleeping? Against a wall?"

"No! I mean, of course not."

"Well why not go sleep with one of the girls?"

"No way, they're impossible to sleep with."

Once more, the boy curiously raised an eyebrow.

"Not like that. I mean, I never tried like that," she huffed, rolling her eyes, "forget it."

She was halfway down the hallway when the boy called out after her. "What do I get out of the deal."

"I didn't know I'd need to pay for a simple favour."

Jean walked up to her, standing only inches above her, "I'll be losing sleep too. There has to be some sort of middle ground. So, Ackerman, what'll it be?"

"You make it sound like we're dealing something illegal. And stop calling me by my last name."

"Of, so we're ditching the formalities?" He teased. The two had begun to journey side by side with no direct destination.

"Don't think you're anything special just because I allow you to call me by my first name."

Unknowingly, at least to the boy, the two had ventured to Mikasa's room. She opened the door, which she rarely kept locked, and lit a candle that sat upon a desk near her bed. It wasn't unusual for the girls, especially Mikasa, to have male visitors in their dorms, so the act of allowing Jean in seemed like a common practice, at least, to her.

Jean on the other hand faltered before entering, taking a spot leaning against an empty wall beside a desk. Since she roomed by herself, Mikasa's room was awfully small, with little room to spare between the desk, wardrobe and bed. Also, unlike the other rooms, it was completely spotless, with not a single item seeming out of place.

"So, what do I get out of the deal?"

Mikasa was perched on the side of her bed, a pillow pulled against her stomach like a child who had woken with a aching belly. Her hair was pulled into two pigtails with her usual strand sweeping in the spot between her eyes, but she wore a spare uniform and the straps for her gear despite the annoyance it was to sleep with.

"I...I don't know." Once again she looked down, past the pillow to her feet. "I guess I'll just go without sleep tonight."

"Suit yourself," the boy waved her off, walking to the door with the intent on leaving, that is, until a pillow was chucked at the back of his head. "Hey!" He rubbed the back of his head turning back to the girl, who was fighting to keep a straight face. "Look, Mikasa, as much as I enjoy standing here and watching you act like a five year old, I see nothing that I can gain out of this, which makes my whole being here pointless."

"Stop trying to act all tough and cool, I can see through your act you know."

"What do you mean?" The boy furrowed his brow, not quite sure on how to take such a comment.

"You're always trying to act like you have no emotion, like you don't care about anyone but yourself."

"Which is true-"

"When really, you're soft and sympathetic. It's kind of cute."

A small blush dashed across the boy's face as he avoided eye contact with her. "Just

shut up and lay down already."

A devious smile grew across the girls face, but it vanished as quickly as it came. She grabbed the pillow from the floor, and laid back down in her bed. It wasn't comfortable, no bed really was to her, but it was a bed nonetheless, and with a sheet and a blanket it almost felt like it could have been made to sleep in. Almost. The pillow on the other hand was soft as air, in fact, that pretty much was all it was made of.

At this point, Jean had taken a seat in the chair by the desk. It was a rickety old thing, something that better suited an antique shop, but with the idea he was only staying until the girl fell asleep, he figured he could make do with it.

"Jean?"

"Hmm?"

"I still can't sleep."

"Mikasa this is getting ridiculous. It's obvious I'm just a distraction. I should go."

"No!" the girl shot up, a look of absolute fear in her eyes, "No, please. Please stay."

"Then. Go. To. Sleep."

"Okay." It was a quiet whisper, the kind that would have easily been lost to the wind if there had of been one at all. Of course, there wasn't, for a wind gust would require a window, something Mikasa's room didn't have.

Jean had begun to doze off, his arms crossed in front of him and his head tilted to the floor.

"Jean?"

The boy didn't open his eyes, remaining in a slouched position. "What is it this time."

Mikasa sat up, swiftly kissing the boy's cheek before laying back in her bed. "Goodnight."

Immediately, Jean opened his eyes in surprise, blushing a gentle crimson. "Uh...right..goodnight."

Whether sleep deprived or simply enjoying the torment she was ensuing on the boy, Mikasa allowed herself to smile. "You're cute when you blush, you know."

Refusing to react to such a comment again, Jean rubbed his face free from the blush that had revealed itself. "For the last time, Mikasa, go to sleep."

"I'm sorry, it's just, I never get to talk to you."

"Well now is not the right time to start a conversation." He sighed, "You people skills really need some work. If you're going to talk to someone, do it in the day, when they're not cranky from lack of sleep."

"Well I would if I could." Her arms were crossed but she remained laying down. "It's hard to even bring up your name without Eren threatening some sort of injury on you, and vice versa."

"You make a good argument." He sighed, sitting up and holding his head, "Look, the faster you fall asleep the faster you wake up, and then maybe, just maybe, we can go into town or something tomorrow."

"Really?" The girl spoke with some eagerness, much of which she was struggling to hold back.

"Maybe, but you won't know until you wake up. So go to sleep."

"Okay, okay, I get it." Mikasa laughed slightly, a sound that was foreign to the boy, and thus, he immediately broke into a smile despite himself. Once more she laid down, but this time she finally fell into a gentle slumber.

After a few minutes to ensure she was indeed asleep, Jean pushed back the chair, blowing out the candle and heading for the door. He looked back once more on the girl who now laid asleep, a smile on her face. She was awfully beautiful no matter the time of day, that much he knew, but he wanted to know much more about the girl who he had fallen for from the moment he had first seen her those years ago.

He left with a smile and a closing of the door and as he made way for his own room, he thought of all that was to come on the day he had mentally been planning on for a very long time.


End file.
